Caught in the Middle

My favorite online comment this week has been the observation that everyone’s news feed looks like a Skittles factory went to war with the Confederates. As the decision was made by the Supreme Court, all of a sudden the issue of same sex marriage has erupted all over the place and as a “side B” Christian, I feel caught in the cross fire.

Deep down it is painful to see how many individual’s comments are not simply regarding the ruling on same sex marriage, however they are yet again strong opinions directed towards anyone in the LGBTQ community. Sometimes I see glimpses of grace shown, but more often there seems to be a mentality that all hell has broken loose in this country and the gays are to blame.

As much as it is painful to see many hurtful comments from Christians, I have also been thrown off a bit by many Christians who were eager to throw on the rainbow filter on their profile and express their support for the “side A” view. I think it saddens me because as I view each of those individuals, I realize that I wouldn’t have their support in the decision I have made to live my life celibate. In their eyes it is foolish to make God a priority over my own feelings or attractions. They are quick to elevate the individual and express their viewpoint in how conservative Christians are hypocritical, contradictory and archaic in their view of scripture. I realize that I could never expect any of them to walk alongside me, supportive and understanding of the choice I have made. All of this leaves me further isolated.

There is a bit of anxiety building up in me as I see the polarization of the issue expanding into the church. I feel as though many of us who are actually struggling to live a pure and holy life with same sex attractions are going to be completely overlooked. We are becoming the unicorns of society, as it becomes harder and harder to maintain the “side B” view and lifestyle. It worries me that the church is going to get lost in the cultural battle and never recognize the true ministry that needs to exist in its own body. Christopher Yuan recently stated that the issue of homosexuality cannot even begin to be discussed in the church until the church recognizes a true biblical view of singleness. One of the major arguments for the Supreme Court decision rested in how a gay individual’s “hope is not to be condemned to live in loneliness, excluded from one of civilization’s oldest institutions.” I know that more and more, the life of a single individual is only identified as one of isolation and loneliness because the church has strayed so far from the original intent of the body of Christ. The church has yet to offer a satisfactory solution and until they do, it only makes sense that an individual in the LGBTQ community would want marriage as an equal right.

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6 thoughts on “Caught in the Middle

  1. Hello sojourner
    I’ve been following your blog for a while now. and I just read this post, and all I can say is that I feel the same way about it. Kinda judged and rejected from both sides.
    I’m also “sideB” and I am part of a sideB community (in the way of a secret group so only members can see other members and their posts) which serves to support each other and to make friends who understand what you’re going through. It is by no mean perfect, but I have found there amazing people who have become really great friends with time, and who have helped me walk this road. I think it would be perhaps a good fit for you if you’d like
    Let me know if you’re interested

    • Thanks for the comment Elijah. I appreciate the referral for the group. As of now, I am still rather private about who I am, so I might not be a good fit unless I can remain anonymous. Thank you though and I hope you continue to remain faithful in the midst of this storm.

      • We did have once a member who chose to remain anonymous as well, because he wasn’t out to absolutely anyone, and he did it by creating a fake fb account with an generic avatar for a profile pic and such, that could work out, but I totally understand if you prefer not to. Just a year ago, I was pretty much in your place and I know how frightening that can be.
        However, feel free to email me if you ever need someone to talk 🙂

  2. Dear Sojourner,
    Again I hear my thoughts in your words. I think this decision by the court will make it so much more difficult to find those Side B individuals and churches who exhibit grace to singles in general, though I have seldom viewed the “church” as a safe place it seems it could be even less safe now.

    Please know that you are blessing individuals like myself who struggle as you do–we are apart of the body of Christ the true Church even though we are not in one location. You are giving us a voice.

    Thank you Fine Sir.

  3. “I wouldn’t have their support in the decision I have made to live my life celibate. In their eyes it is foolish to make God a priority over my own feelings or attractions.”

    While it may be that some of the people who have posted rainbow pics would respond as you say, there are also some (maybe many!) who can fully support your right to choose celibacy (and even celebrate and admire it), while at the same time rejoicing that there are now freedoms for people who don’t make the same choice as you.

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