Every Man Has A Woman To Love

I attend a men’s Bible study at my church that focuses on defining a man of God and the necessary elements in his life to make him be complete.  One of those elements is that every man has a woman to love.

Obviously being a single, celibate gay Christian, this statement bothers me.  When I question how this statement applies to a single man (not even a gay man), I am told a woman to love for a single man is the church, as modeled by Jesus.  I am still exploring this thought to see if there is any true biblical basis for such a statement.  Every time I am told this however, I cannot help but become frustrated and bitter towards the church.  Am I truly to consider my bride to be the church?  How can this be when my so-called bride doesn’t even acknowledge my existence?  Can a spouse truly feel apart of a relationship when their significant other does not even acknowledge they are in a relationship?  

As the church makes this statement, I equate it to the level of frustration that exists for women when told wives should be submissive to their husbands.  While I believe this to be biblical, as an isolated statement, it misses out on the entire meaning of the passage and ends up being used in an abusive and controlling manner.  The responsibilities of the husband are just as important and any man who tells his wife she must be submissive is clearly ignoring the sacrifice that he is suppose to make as a loving husband.  A partial biblical truth can be damaging if the full scope of the biblical passage is not given or if only part of a command is utilized.  Is it justifiable for the church to tell a single man that his bride should be the church, despite having never spoken to the church regarding their responsibilities towards singles?  It seems like an easy way out and an incomplete view, ultimately allowing the church to escape responsibility. 

If the bride of a single person is the church, what is the responsibility of said bride?  All pressure cannot be placed on the single person whom is already isolated, without family, and generally viewed as incomplete by the church. 

I would love to hear some thoughts on this topic.  Has anyone else looked into this idea that a single man’s bride is to be the church? How does that sit with your understanding of the scriptures?


2 thoughts on “Every Man Has A Woman To Love

  1. I was reminded of Hosea 2 while reading this post. God had the prophet Hosea marry a woman who was unfaithful to him, pursuing other men and other pleasures, but through her infidelity God created a very real picture of how Israel (and all of humanity) rejected God and chased idols. The beauty of this chapter comes when God, in spite of her sin, shows compassion, mercy, and kindness. Feeling ignored or marginalized by a local church isn’t exclusively a gay Christian’s pain, and it is an opportunity to share in the sufferings of Christ who died–alone and betrayed–for the ones He loved although they did not deserve His love.

    Paul says in 1 Corinthians 7 that single people can devote more time, energy, and resources to the church. As a single person myself, this type of service is what I look forward to–that I can minister to people free from any commitments to a wife or to children. When I feel discouraged, I think of the sufferings that Jesus endured for my sake. It is more blessed to give than to receive.

  2. Dear Brother sojourner, I am sorry that it has taken so long for me to respond, but I like you am very much alone, and have been dealing with a great deal of emotional up and downs, trials and tribulations, with some victories, and failures.

    I like you have no family, and the body of Christ seems to be caught up in their own lives, without much consideration for those who are single. I also feel very isolated and forsaken by other members of the body of Christ. Sometimes I find it maddening, but it pushes me to cry out to the Lord for His strength to endure, and at times this isolation is seemingly unbearable. But the Lord gives me the grace to endure.

    I find that I must continually keep forgiving for the lack the body of Christ shows toward other believers. And trust me the LORD knows our dilemma, is grieved by the lack of Love and care coming from other believers. I can faithfully say, that much of it is due to prejudices, and being caught up in their “family” life and have no understanding how we are to “LOVE one another as HE has loved us”.

    Yes, the Lord’s word does confirm that there are those that are called to be “single” for His purposes. Paul teaches this: 1Co_7:8 I say therefore to the unmarried and widows, It is good for them if they abide even as I.
    1Co_7:11 But and if she depart, let her remain unmarried, or be reconciled to her husband: and let not the husband put away his wife.
    1Co_7:32 But I would have you without carefulness. He that is unmarried careth for the things that belong to the Lord, how he may please the Lord:
    1Co_7:34 There is difference also between a wife and a virgin. The unmarried woman careth for the things of the Lord, that she may be holy both in body and in spirit: but she that is married careth for the things of the world, how she may please her husband.

    The Lord also mentions that there would also be those that are called to be Eunuchs:Mat_19:12 For there are some eunuchs, which were so born from their mother’s womb: and there are some eunuchs, which were made eunuchs of men: and there be eunuchs, which have made themselves eunuchs for the kingdom of heaven’s sake. He that is able to receive it, let him receive it.

    Now here is another thought, Jeremiah was called and he was single, and was instructed by the Lord to be single, due to the great apostasy of the time and according to his calling by the Lord. It’s good to stay single during our time because of the Great Apostasy we are presently living in, there is no guarantee that children will desire to follow the Lord, and what a heartache it must be for parents who know the Lord to have to live through the experience that there children have no desire to follow the Lord. I know I can take great comfort in knowing I do not and will not have to live through that tortuous experience.

    I know with my life I do serve the body of Christ where the Lord leads, and I have been able to move here and there at will, according to the Lord’s will that is, because I’m not tied to a family. But I also know and realize due to the many abuses and lack of love I suffered at the hands of my parents, especially my mother, which was sexual and physical in manner. I am glad I have had no wife, because the marriage would not have been good, because it has taken the Lord decades to deal with many of those deep and damaging issues which was brought on by such an upbringing.

    I do write a blog also, and I have found that the Lord has been using me to help others who have experienced some very terrible times due to false teaching, teachers and cults.

    I do not consider myself as a “gay” Christian, I am a new Creature in Christ, I no longer live in that life, but still struggle against it, but I am a Son of the Living God, and it is He that does keep me.

    If you would like to communicate with one another I am open to it, be it via, skype of phone calls I am willing, just so that you and I do not feel so isolated, this is pleasing to the Lord if we serve one another in this manner, because so many around us seem NOT to be concerned with our “spiritual life” in Christ.

    I do hope you find some comfort within this, and I shall start praying for you as the Lord should lead.

    The Lord bless you and keep you, and comfort your heart and soul with His ever loving presence.
    A brother in Christ who cares,
    In His Eternal Love……

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