When A Friendship Hits The Ceiling

One of my biggest fears with my friends is that at some point they will reach their point of limitation in our friendship where they cannot go further.  I have had enough people come and grow through my life that I don’t expect people to stay around.  Despite an incredible amount of grace that has been shown me, it has taken me quite some time to learn to trust even my closest of friends.  No matter how much I have forced myself to go beyond my insecurities and trust others, I live with the dread that it will eventually end.

I reached one of those points of limitations with one of my closest friends.  It hit me harder than I ever imagined.  He was someone that has walked with me for quite a while now and I am closer to him than any other friend.  To feel as though I reached the limit in that friendship was devastating.  A lot of hope I had in being able to develop solid male friendships has been lost…

I am really struggling to understand the balance between relying on God completely as well as having support from friends.  I know how easy it can be to become emotionally dependent on a friend.  At the same time, I feel as though God does use people in our lives to help us get through tough times.  I want to believe that a person like me can have a substantial, solid, and deep friendship with other guys.  I desire to hold onto the hope that there is a place for a single guy like me.  It is just so hard at times… I don’t feel as though I stand a chance in view of most guys getting married, investing in their career, or simply being emotionally/relationally stupid.


2 thoughts on “When A Friendship Hits The Ceiling

  1. Thank you so much for your honesty. I have experienced a lot of friends coming and going, too. Some due to them and some due to myself. As hard as it is, you have to try and not take it personally. Sometimes guys like us do cause friendship to end, but sometimes the other person leaves not by our fault. Some guys can’t handle the struggle we go through and so they bail because it’s the easiest option. Other times we unknowingly (or knowingly) push people away / turn them off, so we need to process why and how to change this.

    Don’t give up Sojourner. During this time, ask God to show you what went wrong and how do you grow from this experience. I truly do understand what you’re going through and thinking. I pray Father God shows you His purpose and continues to lead you through this valley in His power, grace, and affirmation.

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