Deep down, I have a desire to see the church step forth into a new light regarding their awareness of issues regarding homosexuality and more specifically celibate Christian men and women within their community who have same sex attractions. It hurts me to see how a blanket statement is thrown over all Christians as being the main example of hatred and bigotry towards homosexuals. The church has a long way to go and on more than one occasion I have had people ask if I would ever be willing to lay aside the control I have on who knows my story and be willing to be the face to the issue by address the church. At this point I don’t believe I am ready.
There may come a day where I could see myself addressing a larger group regarding this issue, however I feel as though I am going to have to learn a lot of humility and reliance on God before that day comes. Furthermore, I know I owe it to all of my close friends to share with them my story directly before they find out through word of mouth.
As much as I desire to see the church move forward, I have had some doubts about how that should even take place. While our story or voice is never heard in the church, are we so small of a minority that it isn’t worth addressing our needs with the church as a whole or in a men’s group? There are so many others, all struggling with their own respective issues that I can’t help but wonder if I am being selfish for wanting the church to grow in awareness of those struggling with S.S.A.