Unfortunately, I found out today that I did not get the job I interviewed for on Monday. Obviously I am disappointed hearing the news. I was truly hoping to land that job, but I guess God has got something else planned for me.
More than anything though, I am getting very tired of my life. It is hard to wake up every morning and look forward to a day of sitting in front of a computer screen, hoping to use it to find a job instead of screwing up and wasting my time looking at s*** on the internet. I wish I could figure out a way to do something useful with my time, but it is definitely difficult. The loneliness is starting to kick in as well. There are definitely some days where I end up not interacting with anyone or leaving my building. I have got to do something with myself before I turn into one pathetic mess (or perhaps I have already reached that point).
I am trying my best to keep a schedule and do what I can to stay productive. I wake up, go for a run, eat breakfast, spend an hour doing devotions and then after that it all depends on the day. The days that I make a check list of things to get done, I usually do better than the days that I don’t.
Trusting God right now is getting really tough. I want to believe that He has something lined up for me in this life. I am completely willing to do whatever He calls me to, but at this point still feels like I am just waiting. I hate waiting…