Inadequacy

A few days back I found out I managed to land a job interview with a non-profit in the South Bay.  I was pretty excited for the opportunity and I felt as though I was a pretty solid match for the position.  I was really hoping that I could land that job and simply get started on settling down.  However, walking away from the interview I really don’t feel confident at all.

I don’t know why I felt so defeated after the interview.  I could still get the job.  However, for some reason, walking out of that building, I felt as though I had failed once again.  This was one position that I wasn’t even having to talk my way into.  I honestly was qualified and yet I still felt as though I went in having to prove my worth.  My resume isn’t honestly impressive at all, despite my full confidence in the abilities I have to get any job done.  During the interview though, I felt inadequate.

The guys that were interviewing me weren’t all that much older than myself and yet I felt like a kid in front of them.  I just came off of managing my own staff, developing programs, and revamping an entire department.  Despite this, I felt as though I was straight out of college, with no experience, trying to bulls*** my way into a job.  Why do I feel so inadequate all the time?  Why am I unable to communicate my thoughts articulately when it really counts?

Hopefully I didn’t come across so crazy to the two guys who were interviewing me.  It would be great if I was just too hard on myself and in reality I made a good impression.  The one thing that I am normally confident in however, is my discernment in a situation.  In this case, I really didn’t see myself making all that great of an impression.  Hopefully this one time, I am wrong.

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