Happy New Years! 2011 is done and gone and time to see what craziness is instored for all of us in 2012.
I finished up 2011 feeling exhausted and tired of always fighting life. I feel like I am fighting my homosexual desires, temptations, and lust. I feel as though I am fighting societal and cultural norms. I feel as though I am constantly fighting the church. I feel as though I am fighting to survive in this economy and fighting to get anyone’s attention in order to land a job. I sometimes even feel as though I am fighting God…
Fighting isn’t necessarily bad. I have always been a fighter and I am willing to keep on fighting. I would much rather be someone that has the cajones to stand up for what he believes, instead of bending to what everyone else is telling him or the struggles life throws at him. However, in 2012 I don’t want to focus on the fight but instead on living life. There are always going to be battles to fight but when that is the focus it is hard to see the good going on around. When my friends ask me how I am doing, I want to be able to tell them about the moments in life where I felt alive, rather then how I am struggling for every single breath. To shift my mentality is going to be one heck of a challenge, but if I don’t start now, it is only going to get harder in the future.
I want to be a grateful individual. I want to be a positive individual. I want to be a encouraging individual. I want people to walk away from interacting with me feeling vitalized and happy for that encounter. Looking at myself now, I am definitely no where being this individual. Heck, if my friends saw this blog, knowing that I wrote it, they would probably think it to be a huge joke. But I know that I can set this goal and if I can even make a little bit of progress in this direction, then it is worth the effort.